Thursday, January 21, 2010

Stuff.

Hello,

I've not spoken with you folks in a while, and it's mostly because I haven't had a lot to talk about, and also because I've devoted some of my time usually devoted to blogging to working on another writing project. And that, ladies and gentleman, is how you write a run-on sentence.

So I've decided to take some time and catch up with you folks. How's it going? I'm still doing good. I'm adapting to life back at work following my delightful holiday break. Now I've gotten some stuff to talk about. First off, a life lesson.

If you're ever feeling down, and that no one is cheering for you, or has "got your back" as the kids used to say, there's a very simple solution:

Step 1) Go down into the subway.

No, this doesn't involve morlocks.




either kind.

Step 2) take out some sort of mobile gaming device.



jealous?

Step 3) start playing Texas Hold 'Em

You will soon find that everyone is your friend and wants you to win!


I wrote this post from home, so thankfully my work browser history doesn't include my search to find this picture.

On my way in to work this morning, I was playing some virtual hold 'em. It being the morning commute in NYC, the train was pretty crowded, and fairly quiet. I had gotten a seat next to one of the doors and was minding my own business.

from the corner of my eye, I see a hand. People often aren't aware of what their hands are doing on the subway (your honor), so I figured this person was stretching out his fingers or something, and just happened to get in my peripheral vision.

But no! It happened again. He was definitely gesturing. I glanced up, and realized that he was trying to tell me not to bet on the hand I was dealt. Alas, it was too late. I had lost 15 completely imaginary and consequence-free dollars.


I have no real reason to post this picture. But do you really need one?

I felt embarrassed to have lost the hand in front of my newfound buddy. Reeling from my loss, I folded the next hand, a King-Nine unsuited.

"tsk" says my benefactor, "that was gonna be your big hand!"

I let the cards play out, and he was wrong. By the time the river came around I would have been handily defeated by the two pair Aces and 7s that one of my digital nemeses had flopped.

This bolstered my confidence a little. A little too much, it would seem. I got into a betting war with a fake person. The turn came. I was stubbornly considering hanging onto my pair of pocket jacks versus an obvious straight draw. And the bets were piling up.

Finally, I took a deep breath and folded.

"Good Man." Said my coach. I knew what he meant. He meant that sometimes, you just gotta know when you're beat, and live to fight another day.

Usually when someone says that to me on the subway, however, they would mean "I want to have sex with/on you."

At Times Square, Coach had to leave. He headed for the door, then turned and waved.

"Good Luck, man!" he said with a smile.

"Thanks man, have a good one." I returned.

I won that poker game on the ride back home.




Oh, another thing! 24! 24 is back!

I can't get too into my thoughts so far this season, as I'm not fully caught up. Subastar is pumped because a famous Indian actor is playing President Hassan, and I'm pumped because Freddie Prinze Jr. has so far been involved in two explosions.

Hopefully one of them will stick.

Harsh, you say?

Let me remind you of something:


If Matthew Lillard shows up this season I'm going to bite my eyes out.

I'm eagerly anticipating the return (in the next episode I'm about to watch) of Renee Walker.



Both for her hotness, and for the hopes that she will mate with The Jack Bauer, and bring forth superpowered counter-terrorist offspring from her steel-lined uterus of justice.

I'm not going to write a better sentence than that for some time, and so I'll bid you goodnight.



Peace, love and bring back Curtis,

Rev

Monday, January 4, 2010

Angels, Devils, Wizards and all sorts of craziness.

Hello.

It seems that nearly a month has passed since I last updated this, and I blame the holidays. All of them. Christmas, New Year, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and yeah, even Boxing Day.

Especially Boxing Day.


That doesn't seem right, but I've got a lot of stuff to get through.

So what did you do in the month of December? Here's what I got up to:

Sandstone's and Mr. Morchison's birthday party!

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(It was Harry Potter Themed)

That's Sandstone as Luna Lovegood and Mr. Morchison as Gilderoy Lockhart. Yes, his costume was a Snuggie.

Deal with it.

Here's the students of Hogwarts, featuring me as Draco Malfoy:


The looking disgusted with everyone is a happy accident, I didn't even know we were taking a picture.

The party was fun, but riding a gypsy bus in the snow from Jersey to Manhattan at 1:00 AM with your head spray-painted white might be the sort of thing that one would call a "downside."

Also, my cousin Kyle (mentioned before in this post) came down to the greater New York area. Specifically, the much lesser part of the greater New York area, New Jersey. He's a bit of a Devil's fan and decided to take in three games. I was fortunate to accompany him to one of them.

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Here's the view from our seats. They were nice.

Kyle was hooked up with two clubhouse seats. We were real close to the ice, but the actual clubhouse was the main benefit, for the two most beautiful words in the english language.


"Cellar Door?"

No, Frank. Stop it. It's Drew Barrymore's character who says that, anyway.

FREE FOOD.

Holders of clubhouse tickets are treated to free food and soft drinks throughout the game. Booze is still cash, though.

But when I say food, I mean food.

Check out the dessert table:

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Also check out the guy in the booth glaring at my camera.

They had a coffee table, too. With fancy urns. Fancy coffee urns.

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Fancy urns!

How about a carving station? You betcha.

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And let me ask you something. What's the one thing that any self respecting hockey rink can't do without?

If you said sushi bar, then you need to get yourself to the Prudential Center.

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Seriously, sushi?

I started off the evening thinking that this was a fantastic idea. My mind was quickly changed, however, when this happened:

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GROSS!

Who drops a tuna roll and just leaves it on the floor? I'll tell you who.

PEOPLE FROM NEW JERSEY.

It is really uncomfortable walking around with rice wedged in the bottom of your sneaker. It was a weird mass that I did not want to go through the disgustingness to get rid of. I felt as though I was walking around like Verbal Kint in the Usual Suspects.

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I felt like that the rest of the night. I felt like that even when we met Chico Resch.

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"Hi I'm Chico Resch... do you know you have rice all up in your shoe?"

That's Kyle on the left, by the way.

For those of you not in the know (like me before that game), Chico is a former NHL goalie who is now one of the commentators for the Devils on MSG. I'm also happy to report that he is a really nice guy.

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Kids like him too!

So we had a brief conversation with Chico, during which he and Kyle discussed the military and what's really going on over in Iraq. I added, helpfully: "Hello, it's nice to meet you."

Kyle was a fan from the start and so was completely won over, and decided to enlist in Chico's private strike force.

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The Chicobra Commandos? The Resch-tafarians?

So thanks Kyle, for the tickets and for a lot of fun.

Let's see, what's next on the December events list?

I went to church one Sunday and saw a Christmas pageant.

My God. If anyone ever doubts the potential for chaos in live theater, send them to one of those. Hilarious.

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"We bring you gifts of Gold, Frankincense and MOM! Sit down! You're embarrassing me!"

Hang on a second...

Enhance.

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Boom. Angels. All right, I've got the blog's title taken care of so now I can just do what I want.

And that means Christmas!

I took Amtrak home again. This trip went as smoothly as I could have hoped. We got a 10 minute delay, but once they began boarding the train I used some ninja tricks and made sure I had a good seat with a working plug for my A/C adapter.

The train was crowded so I sat next to a woman also bound for Utica. She didn't say a word the entire time. Perfect.

We had two Christmases at the Rev's house this year. The first was real Christmas, which consisted of my parents and I, and was relatively sedate.

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Yup, just kinda sat around, reading and being on fire.

Then Christmas 2 brought the great convergence on Monday. Dr Rev, Lt Rev, S.Rev and of course A.Rev all descended on the house for more merrymaking.

As in any Rev Christmas, there were knives:

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And presents:

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and frightening children:

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I LOVE this picture.

And at last it was time to return to the City. Dr Rev came to visit for a bit, shenanigans were had, then it was New Year's Eve with some more shenanigans, including repainting part of the Queens Plaza Subway station and that's pretty much all she wrote for the month of December.

Oh yes, except for one major thing:

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CONGRATULATIONS JESSE AND HOLLY!!!!


The sexiest newly engaged couple there is. And what better time to propose than in New York City in the midst of a freak snowstorm.

Give them points for memorable, folks.

Catch you later (sooner than last time),


Rev