Thursday, April 1, 2010

April First, but no foolin'


This is where we left off in the last entry about my Birthday/St. Patrick's Day Extravaganza Week. About to celebrate in the most grand fashion...

...By waking up early in the morning and going to work. Just as much fun as it sounds. New York City is one of those hardcore parade towns where they like to have celebrations on the exact day that holidays occur, regardless of my work and hangover schedule.

So I was unable to make it to the St. Pat's parade this year. I put on a green shirt, bought some soda bread and decided to grin and bear it through the day.

I got my coffee and started in on another day of tedium. Then something awesome happened. Bizzy Coy gchatted me.

(Note the high levels of crazy behind the eyes)

While that is a pleasant enough surprise in itself, the content of her message is really what floored me. In addition to apologizing for bailing on my birthday party, she told me about the Shamrock Shakes.


I think I may have mentioned my quest for these things before. Once or twice.

So I may be a little obsessed. She sent me an article from the Gothamist talking about how the Union Square McDonald's definitely has the Shamrock Shake.

My Brain exploded. I can't take all the credit for the return, but I did create a facebook page about bringing the Shamrock Shake back to New York, and I considered a letter writing campaign back in December which I would have called Operation: Shamrock n' Roll.

So I guess I will take all of the credit. Hooray for me and my almost-effort!

So I thought to myself "This is awesome, I'm going to get out of work, swing by and pick up a Shamrock Shake on the way home and drink it in my apartment." I love a good plan.

I was in the middle of weighing the pros and cons of pantslessness during the Shamrock Shake extravaganza when another thought struck me. "What if they run out while I'm trapped in this office?"


I knew I couldn't wait. Thankfully the office had "organized" a St. Patrick's Day Potluck for lunch. As soon as folks started uncovering their dishes and reheating things in the microwave, I was off. I left a Rev-shaped cloud of smoke behind me and was dashing to the subway.

Like this, minus the hilarious ethnic stereotyping.

Months of having just missed trains seemed to have piled up to give me a subway-karma boost. I smoothly stepped off the platform onto an R train. The doors opened at Union Square and I took off again, shoving slow pedestrians out of my way, scattering children and the elderly like tenpins.

Or I wanted to, anyway. "OUT OF MY WAY!" I shouted in my head while politely excusing myself past a pod of land-whales decked in green.

I was back aboveground at last. I darted to the McDonald's, with my heart guarded against some sort of tragedy or sick prank. I opened the door and questioned my sanity. It was still absent, thank God.

I moved into the madness of a Manhattan McDonald's in the midst of the midday meal.

I elbowed (waited patiently) my way to the front of the line. What I saw there set my heart all a-flutter:

Why would you want to hide something this beautiful?

"One large Shamrock Shake, please!" I exclaimed, managing to only think the word "shopkeep."

"The new flavor?" asked the shopkeep.

I thought he said "Any flavor?" so I clarified.

"The Shamrock Shake." He looked at me with eyes drained of life by deaf crazy people shouting orders for fast food.

"Yeah, the new flavor, right?"

Ohhh. Well no, it's not really new. The Shamrock Shake was initially launched in 1970 and has been sold ever since throughout much of the US and Canada. In fact, in the 1980's a character was introduced to market the shake. He took the form of Grimace's delightfully stereotyped Uncle O'Grimacey. It's certainly not a new product, being older than such menu mainstays as the Quarter Pounder (1973), the Egg McMuffin (1975) and even Happy Meals (1979)!

I thought of the best way to distill this information.

"Yeah." I said.

A short wait later and I had it in my hands!

Quick! To the exit before they realize you haven't paid!

I apologize for the lack of exhaustive photos of this mission. I had only the camera on my phone with me.

With my prize in hand it was back to work. I got to the subway platform before I allowed myself to partake.

It was Bliss.

A short jaunt later, and I was back to the potluck. The elapsed time? 19 minutes. Several people hadn't noticed I had left, and looked quizzically at the plastic container of ambrosia in my hand.

Further research would uncover more facts. First, that the Shamrock Shake was only being carried in two locations: Union Square and Times Square. I assume they'll have learned their lesson and will expand the roll out for next season. Second, the Union Square McDonald's was sold out of the Shamrock Shake by 4:00 PM that day. A full hour before I get off of work.

I sometimes have dreams about what would have happened had I waited that day... and wake up screaming.

So that's my story. A bullet was dodged, an evil corporation caved to the almost-pressure of dozens of whiny internet commentators, and you all get to hear a tale with a happy ending instead of listening to me wallow in freakish misery.

Don't. Steal. Phrases.

Ok ok, fine. I hope everyone had a St. Patrick's Day that was just as miraculous and enjoyable. Now get out there and enjoy the almost-Springtime weather!

Peace out babies,



  1. Awesome Awesome Rev. Glad to have another fun blog friend to follow!:),, and another shamrock shake obsessor... why not all year round? I mean I honestly only go to MCD in March... that's it!..

  2. Frankly, I'm pissed that all the Shamrock was gone before I had a chance to partake. If only I shared your foresight! OH THE IRONY


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