Monday, September 7, 2009

My Vacation: Part Two, but really one because this happened first.

Hello again.

Despite the length of the last entry, I am not out of vacation pictures to share with you folks. Don't worry, I won't talk more of hiking (though I do have several videos and dozens more pictures and it was awesome) but instead will talk about what happened earlier on my vacation.

Kaz and Zippy getting married?

Nah.

Well, sure, it happened:


Mr. and Mrs. Kaz, or Mr. and Mrs. Zippy? The polls are open.

And we here at With Great Blogging Comes Great Responsibility love them both dearly and certainly wish them well, but as for varied and colorful pictures and an all day narrative, I'm gonna have to go with the roller coaster park.


(sigh) OK, regular readers of this blog: let's just assume for simplicity's sake that that is a picture of a wholesome family and that the father is wearing pants. Moving on.

Yes, -2 and special guests headed to Sandusky Ohio in search of thrills, chills and hour long waits amidst long lines of Midwesterners.

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This ride was open, and then it closed and the majority of the line left. 10 minutes later, it reopened. -2 wins again.

But there I go getting ahead of myself again. Rewind to late the night before, when our weary travelers arrive at Cedar Point's hotel. We collapse into fitful, excited sleep as children do on the the night before Christmas.

Also as children do, we made Jesse sleep on the floor.

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Definition of wariness: the girl on the right, dangerously close to -2.

Having been guests of Cedar Point, we got the bonus of having an extra hour's access to the park, before all the other people were allowed in. Here's what that looked like:

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I think the husky kid in the muscle shirt is confused.

Oh yes, cast of characters. In addition to Jesse and Kyle, Casey and Michael rocked the house.

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Casey (in yellow): Hey, why don't we get nicknames?
Michael (in purple): Yeah, what the Hell?

You may recognize them from past adventures such as 4th of July, 2009.

As soon as we got in the gates we made a dash for the Millenium Force. My word. For some reason as I'm typing this, the best descriptive phrase I have for the Millenium Force is "a big, beautiful blue bitch of a roller coaster."

I'm gonna go with it.



We were understandably excited about the prospect of riding this sucker. According to the official page, it boasts a 300 foot vertical drop and speeds of approximately 92 MPH.

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Photoshop contest begins now.

It was amazing. It was and remains my favorite roller coaster, probably of life. Here's a little taste for you:



Now just imagine me next to you doing an incredible impression of a Betsy Wetsy doll. It was fantastic.

Next up was another ride that was also crazy fun. The Top Thrill Dragster.

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That tower is 420 feet tall. That is the car near the apex.

This ride is interesting, as it's not really a roller coaster. Basically it is that tower with a length of track leading to it and away from it.

You sit in the car, get strapped in and then are shot towards the tower, reaching approximately 120 MPH. The car goes to the top of the tower and straight down again, and then the ride is over.



The good news is that you're accelerated from 0 to 120 in four seconds.

The bad news is that the ride lasts a total of 17 seconds.

For me, that's a short enough span of time to convince myself that it was all a dream.


Thank GOD!

Exhilarating, but over way too fast. Story of my life.

We went on a bunch of other rides, too.

The Power Tower, besides being a dynamite euphemism, is also a thrill ride (giggle) at Cedar Point. And it looks like, well:


Winner of the 1998 Most Blatantly Phallic Attraction Award!

With the Power Tower you get the choice of being launched up from the bottom, or being slowly raised to the top and dropped down. Choose the second one. It's far more terrifying. The suspense involved in dangling your legs 240 feet off the ground before it drops you to the earth completely takes your mind off the fact that the ride is a giant steel wang.

We went on the park's two wooden roller coasters, the Mean Streak and the Gemini. We also went on one of the newer (and awesome) coasters, the Maverick.



No...

The Maverick is a coaster that throws you around a lot. You get up to about 70 MPH and it has all sorts of twists and turns and a fantastic warning on Cedar Point's webpage:

"May not accommodate Guests of Exceptional Size."



But alas, as seems to be a theme on this vacation, the rains came.

It started drizzling on us as we were in line for the Mantis. We ended up waiting an hour and 15 minutes total in that line. The rain let up just enough for them to send a half dozen carloads of riders through, and we made it just in time.

Because then it really started raining.

Fortunately for all involved we were able to find some shelter and watch people stream towards the exit. Also, as evidenced by our camping trip, a little rain does not bother us in the least. There were some rides that were still operating, regardless of precipitation, so we went on those.

For example, The Wicked Twister:


A cool ride made cooler because you can pretend it's part of a giant Unicorn.

You start in the middle, shoot up in one direction, then fall back and go up the other spiral. Rinse and repeat.

Also, in the heaviest rain we hid in a sheltered area that housed a game of skill/chance. In this game, the prizes were all Zippo lighters. You had to try to push them off the playing field into a slot to win the lighter. I had several quarters and so gave everyone a chance to win. None of us did.

The real entertainment started when a young man came along and decided that he HAD to have one of those lighters. He tried his had a few times, then called in the big guns: his Dad.

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Damn you, NASCAR lighter. Stop taunting me!!!

This started out as entertaining, then amusing, then uncomfortable, then downright sad as the man tried time and time again to win one of those lighters, and by extension, the love of his son.

He went through probably five or six bucks, one quarter at a time before he came to his senses and realized the only things that kid needed a Zippo for were to:

1) Start smoking and accidentally burn the house down
2) Look cool in front of his buddies and accidentally burn the house down

or

C) Straight up burn the house down.

They went on to seek their fortunes elsewhere, and so did we.

Our fortunes came in the form of the maXair.


As shiny and neat as this color-enhanced promotional photo looks, it's even cooler to ride in the rain.

I was seated between Kyle and a loud girl who asserted at points on the ride that she was falling out (she wasn't) and that she was going to die (she didn't).

Other than my eardrums being screamed out, another wonderful thing happened as we were on the maXair: It stopped raining.

As soon as the giant rotating pendulum stopped, we unbuckled ourselves and ran off to ride our favorite coasters again.

It was a long and eventful day into night, and we took one last serene look around the park from the top of the Power Tower at all the neon and other lights twinkling on the shore of Lake Erie.



"Thank you, Cedar Point" I thought, "for a lovely day."

And then it dropped us screaming to earth.

See you around, folks

-Rev



P.S.

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Dolphin Shirt!