Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Oh Thank the God Jack has returned to us

Some of you may have been wondering why it has taken me this long to talk about a major nationwide event. Starting on Sunday, Jack Bauer and 24 returned to Fox for its 7th season. I was unable to watch the original airing, because I was caught up with work. Very important and influential work, that I... uh...

"What were you really doing, Rev?"

Ok fine! I was playing Smash Brothers with Oach and Mr. Morchison.

God it's fun.

But anyway, last night I decided to get down to business and watch the first four auers that I'd missed. I gotta say, I really enjoyed it. Last season was ridiculous, what with the farmer from Babe being a mass murderer and all, and Jack torturing his brother while being conflicted about how much he boned his brother's wife back before they were married and this is making me sick just thinking about it.

"Tell me who wrote this crap!"

Don't even get me started on Curtis. We'll be here all day, first me getting angry and writing a rambling monologue about the greatest sidekick Jack ever had, then I'll start crying and the typos will start up, and then I'll start drinking and the whole thing will get really incomprehensible until I finally pass out on the keyboard, leaving several hundred lines of the letter y, as if to scream out "Why? Oh God, why? Why Curtis? He was the best of us!!!" Finally, I'll awake to the realization that A) I'm late for work and B) I've soiled myself and I'll select the "post" button on the blog entry as I randomly push buttons in a still-dangerously-intoxicated attempt to download clean pants.

So maybe it's best we don't mention it. It sauered the entire season for me.

But hey, Tony is back, and I'm not sure they ever did any sort of confirmation that Curtis was completely dead. I hold out hope of a comeback. If that happens, I will be a happy blogger indeed.

Don't be sad, Curtis. I haven't forgotten you.

I won't spoil any of the action for you if you have not yet watched the first episodes of this season, but I think they're off to a pretty good start. Rumor has it that they've actually written the entire season in advance, and not just the setup, and then a half-assed climax where Jack shoots Robocop off a boat while my local Fox affiliate showed a placeholder as the broadcast engineers took their heads on a colon-spelunking field trip.

God, I hope someone is monitoring my Google searches at work.

All right, as I'm sure you all care, I'll be keeping you updated throughout the season.

Finally, starting in January, a man takes control who can unite the nation and turn this great country around and restore it to its former glory:

Pauer to the People

Peace, love, and retrospectively justified torture,



  1. They do monitor your google searches....they're just afraid to approach you.

  2. Only saw one episode, but you gotta love the FBI agent and doesn't her soon to be ex boyfriend, who Jack nearly bitch slapped in the first hour, look like Vigo Mortenson?

  3. 24 Season 7 Tagline:

    We're getting the band back together.

  4. Lt Rev - I'm oddly OK with that

    Bauerman - He really does, I was thinking the same thing. By-the-book fancypants wuss.

    Honus - Nice. I especially like their matching black outfits. "This is my covert face."


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