Thursday, April 24, 2008

God, I hate DC

Ok, so I was just browsing wikipedia, randomly shuffling through pages, reading what-have-you, like I usually do during quiet periods at work. I was reading about the character Ultraboy from the Legion of Superheroes. Don't judge me, it's really slow here today.

Basically Ultraboy has all of the powers of Superman, except that he can only use them one at a time. Fair enough. In his first appearance way back in 1962, he is sent back in time to Smallville, Kansas to learn the secret identity of Superboy. Again, fair enough. Let's look at the cover of that issue:

Notice anything unusual?

Ultraboy is searching for Superboy in disguise, so naturally he would x-ray vision people to see if they have a Union suit and cape under their snappy shirt and slacks. That makes perfect sense.

But Superboy, or "Clark" is walking down the street with a stone-cold redheaded fox, Lana Lang. And he's using his x-ray vision to check out dudes. His thought bubble should more accurately read:

"Great Krypton! My X-Ray vision reveals that new boy in town has a secret identity! I was just trying to take a look at his taut, young body glistening from the sweat of a long baseball game!"

We could also add a word bubble for Lana that says "Oh Clark, I feel so safe around you, you're just like a big sister!"

I always figured Supes was a huge closet case. However, I'm about to give credit where it's due. In looking into more Golden Age comic panels to make fun of, I came across these websites:

They have been doing it for some time, with hilarious results. Any other comics fans that read this should definitely give them a look.

I'll leave you with this classic panel, guest starring the Fantastic Four:

Ladies love the Spider-charm. Check out how pissed Reed looks.



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