Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Hello there, fellow 2008ers.

I am faced with an unusual blogging situation. One that I have rarely encountered. That is having so much to talk/type about that I don't really know where to begin. Having all of last week off was pretty awesome, and I had a nice relaxing break in good old Central New York, with several visits upstate as well.

Christmas Eve Eve, the parents and I went to the top of the Empire State to visit Lt. Rev and wife. Along the way I had to stop and have my picture taken at one of my favorite places, the Indian River General Store.



It's one of my favorite places because, as you may be able to tell from the photo, it was once a church, but is now a convenience store that peddles liquor, cigarettes and an impressive array of camping equipment. Anything that walks that tightrope of blasphemy is ok in my book. Also, I'm sure it would come in handy if you ever need to make a beer run whilst being attacked by vampires. Just don't get the hot chocolate. I felt obliged to buy something after running around taking pictures. While the girl behind the counter was surprisingly cute, the beverage was roundly disappointing.

On Boxing Day I went with Lt. Rev to Lake View Pond to do some ice fishing. I was not completely looking forward to it, because I had to wake up when the clock still said AM, and I was anticipating uncomfortably cold temperatures. Thankfully, the weather cooperated and the air was actually pretty warm. It was also very scenic. Check it:




It is my belief that God invented the subway to trick people into thinking that New York City has fresh air. This place had the real thing. It was wonderfully refreshing to be in such a wide open area with so few people around. Oh yes, and the fish. Check out this beast I caught:


That's a full 30 inches of Northern Pike. Bitch.

That monster was the largest of the six we reeled in that day. Earlier in the year, there were reports of it overturning boats, frightening livestock and swallowing children whole. I single-handedly ended its reign of terror and was given a medal by the mayor of whatever passes for a town around there. Here's the final group portrait:


Not bad.

But the day was not without its tribulations. The warm air and bright sun coupled to make the ice quite slick, so by the end of the day all of the shuffling around had made my thighs kind of sore, and I also slightly pulled what I take turns referring to as my 'boys' muscle,' 'groin' and 'suspension.' It wasn't serious, however and by the next day my mixture of pie, Discovery Channel HD and fireplace lounging had me back as good as new.

As far as Christmas presents go, I did pretty well this year. I hope Santa was good to the rest of you, as well. I won't get into too much detail, except to mention one magic item that was given me by my parents. It looks like a normal down comforter, but it's also something else entirely. Through thousands of years and dozens of cultures, there have been many names for the ultimate source of evil. The Devil, Lucifer, Satan, El Diablo, the Antichrist, Beelzebub, Mephistopholes, Oprah, The Horned God, Asmodan, Wal*Mart, Malebolgia, Ash-Shaytan, Azazel, Belial, Sammael, Angra Mainyu, The Adversary, Old Scratch, Baphomet, Abbadon and Hillary, to name a few.

Anyhow, whatever the name, the basic premise is that this comforter serves as a direct link between this entity and my sleeping mind. The first three nights I slept under it, my dreams reached a new height of crazy. And believe me, they didn't really need much help to begin with. I have a feeling that some of my nocturnal adventures may find their way to this internet, toned down and sanitized a bit, of course. Anyway, I call it the Satan Window, and it looks like this:


Don't be fooled by the penguin, either. Trust me, his soul is as evil as his bowtie is adorable.

Also, Oach managed to combine a few of my favorite things into one present. Any of you looking to impress me, take notes. He gave me a vintage Amazing Spider-Man #101, including the first appearance of Morbius, the Living Vampire. Awesome.


Yes, six arms. Don't ask unless you want to have a very involved conversation.

That's about it for now folks. I'll continue more holiday catching up later, including how I managed to single-handedly extinguish the light of the world.

Happy New Year,

Rev

4 comments:

  1. hm...are you aware that "penultimate" means "next-to-last" and not "most ultimate"? What great timing, after that entry showcasing your SAT vocab. Aren't you glad I started reading your blog?

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  2. Oh, Dammitall. Boo-urns on me. Now to destroy the evidence...

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  3. I have found that a down comforter has similar results for me. Mrs. Lt Rev wonders why I wake up startled and covered in sweat...the terror I have seen is unspeakable.

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  4. Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.

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