Why wouldn't I just stick with 'Rev?'
It seems I've been saddled with the moniker for so long (practically born with it) that I've stopped associating it with its inherent meanings. I decided to poke around a little and see what other people are using the word for. Thanks Google! Also, I decided that I would present awards to my favorites, just to keep things interesting.
Also, Oach has just informed me that I don't get to pick my own Gladiator name and that it's up to the producers, and he's the producer around here and my Gladiator name is Mouse and that I better get used to the idea if I know what's good for me.
Anyway, the first thing I noticed when I Googled Rev was a bunch of religious sites. Reverends and bible verses from Revelation (see this blog's URL, for example. I didn't pick it at random, you know). People love Jesus. And He loves them, too. A few caught my eye however:
The award for Best Religious Entrepreneur goes to:
The Reverend Jim Rehnberg at www.rentarev.com
"Providing Professional Ministerial Services Throughout Chicagoland."
Everything seems pretty ok about this. I'm sure there are plenty of Ronin Reverends out there willing to bless this and that and marry and baptise people to turn a buck. However, one thing caught my eye:
All other Rent-a-Rev Services
Stand Up Comedy
Best all-around Hooray for Jesus Site:
Though technically it's Rev! magazine. It also claims to be the gatew ay for all things Rev. Unfortunately, they have not yet linked to this blog. Perhaps the all things is a bit of hyperbole. Bonus points for the exclamation point and helpful links to shopping for all your pastor resources.
Enough religion. It's not that funny.
The Nerdiest Site Which I Still Found Fascinating:
The Rapid Earthquake Viewer
Taking a look at some of the images of maps and epicenters and radii just gives me the chills.
Check out this world map of recent earthquakes:
Best Rev product AND best Rev product debunking:
REV XP Fat Burner Review
Extra credit for sneaking that second Rev in "Review." Tricky, man, tricky.
and "Thermogenic" so... that's gotta be good, right?
Basically you're supposed to take this stuff and it will burn fat off of you. My prediction? You'll lose a lot of water weight as you piss yourself all the way to the emergency room. Each tablet of this "supplement" has about as much caffeine in it as 3.5 -4 cans of Mountain Dew. That's enough to give Juan Valdez a heart attack.
Best use of Buzzwords without substance:
I've read that site four times and still have very little idea what they actually do.
Most Badass Product to Keep in Mind for My Upcoming Birthday:
REV'IT is a European company that specializes in high quality motorcycle apparel and unnecessary apostrophes. Granted, I don't ride a motorcycle myself, nor am I likely to following an emergency room anecdote told me by Dr. Rev, but some of their casual stuff looks pretty sweet. Also, the general sleekness and styling of the whole site is top-notch.
I'll wrap things up about now. This last site has the best double entendre merchandise, but it also takes the cake for rampant homoeroticism and disturbing content.
What's so homoerotic about wrestling, you ask?
That's what I thought.
And as for disturbing content? How does this hit you?
Surely there's nothing wrong with normalizing one of the most harmful aspects of high school and collegiate wrestling, that is, starving oneself to wrestle in a lower weight class. The ladies call that 'anorexia.' The guys generally call it "But coach says..."
It's even better that it's printed on baby clothes. Baby plus starvation rarely equals cute.
The rest of their merchandise isn't so bad, though. Personally, I think every fine looking lady reading this site out there should own a shirt proclaiming their love of Rev Wrestling. And I'd be more than happy to oblige such a hobby.
As I am and ever shall be,