Sunday, August 19, 2007

It's amazing how much you can get done when you wake up at noon.

Hello and welcome back (if applicable). So yesterday I did my daily impression of a completely useless person and slept until approximately noon-fifteen. In my defense, I was up reading Paradise Lost and Siddhartha until about 4 AM, so the actual amount of sleep is reasonable, if not the window involved. Also, I had a crazy Vampire dream, which is unusual because vampires generally are not the undead involved in such things. However, the dream didn't stray too far from usual with the violence and all.

Anyway. It being Saturday, and gorgeous outside, I resolved to do something worthwhile. You know, like go outside. I had received an email, being on the email list of Improv Everywhere, that said the aforementioned group was staging their fourth annual mp3 experiment that afternoon.

The instructions were simple.

1) Download the required mp3 file from their website

2) Synchronize your watch to the clock on their website

3) Murder a prostitute

4) Wear a t-shirt of red, blue, green or yellow color

5) Show up at the designated place with a camera and, at 4:00:00 PM, play the mp3 on your headphones.

Completely simple, right? Yeah, you'd think so. However, going over my inventory I realized a few things. Yes, I have a watch that I can synchronize, a digital camera, a blue t-shirt and yes, I downloaded the file, and as for the dead hookers... well, let's just say "check."

However, I don't own an mp3 player. Nor do I have any desire to own an mp3 player. I could burn the file to a CD and play it that way, but I did not have any CD-Rs. Also, last Monday I went running around Astoria Park and managed to drop my CD player so that it smashed into several pieces. I collected most of them, but I kid you not, one of the springs from the case landed on/in a Dead Pigeon.

Artist's Rendition.

So. I had one non-operating and battery-less CD player, a homeless mp3 file and the day had grown to approximately 1:40 PM. "Curses," thought I, "There's no way I can go get a CD and be back here to burn it in time to get over to the World Financial Center by 4:00.

Suddenly, a thought hit me. Isn't this sort of the reason I bought a portable computer?

It's pretty and I like it.

So, Hell-bent on salvaging the day, I raced for the shower, took it, and got dressed in my blue shirt. I borrowed* Oach's Leatherman to perform emergency surgery on the parts of my CD player. At the end, it worked, but will not be winning any beauty prizes. I stashed my laptop in my backpack and hit the road. Thanks to good transportation karma, I got the bus to the nearest stop, and got on a train just as it was pulling out. Exiting the train at 8th street, I stopped by Staples and quickly purchased some CDs and a few AA batteries. Then back to the train. I arrived at the destination, pulled up a stone bench, whipped out my laptop, and burned the CD.

During all this panicked running around and checking of my watch, I thought to myself "How boring would this be had I planned it out in advance, like I clearly should have?"

Anyway, my crazy half-baked plan worked, forcing me to learn nothing from the experience. And, at 4:00, I pushed play along with some hundred or so others for a 36 minute adventure.

At one point, we were instructed to take a self-portrait:

I'm blue, da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di

Other Participants:

A flying man wearing red:

So basically a good time was had by all, including the innocent bystanders who had no idea why the several hundred people started doing silly things in unison. To see more details, check back with, as they should be posting stuff soon.



* Here the author uses the word 'borrowed' to mean 'stole'

1 comment:

don't spam me please!