Friday, August 17, 2007

Consumer Alert

Hello, this is a public service announcement. For the love of God, do not spend your time, money, or precious bodily fluids at the following location:

CranberryII Gourmet. Bastards.

I was there last night, and I burned my hand with coffee. It was clearly completely their fault, seeing as how I poured the coffee, added cream and sugar (to taste) and secured the plastic lid myself. Obviously, those bastards are liable for the lid popping off and spilling roast brew like boiling hot demon rage all over my hands. My beautiful hands.

Here is a picture of my left hand before the aforementioned accident:

and here is a picture of my left hand afterwards:

Even typing this blog update is like torture.

Anyway, you may be asking: why was Rev at CranberryII Gourmet in the first place? Isn't he basically an impoverished shut-in?

Well... yes. But Oach's Mother was in town and wanted to go see a Broadway Show. And so Oach and I got up extra early and headed into the city in the wee morning hours of 10:00 AM. After being sold out of Les Miz, we managed to snag some student rush tickets to A Chorus Line.

Chattiest/Scariest Ticket Guy Ever.

Upon presenting our Student ID's, he was all trying to be funny and whatever, and was all "Oh, is this even a real school?"

"Yes, it is." Just because we're not currently students there doesn't make the school illegitimate, thankyouverymuch.

Still laughing and tripping over the pronunciation of 'Geneseo' he was all "Where is this, anyway?"

"Ummm... south of Rochester"

"What do you guys study there?"

Well, I was a Psychology major and an English Literature minor, so I let Oach speak for both of us when he said "Theater."

"Theater, eh? You want to perform something?"

"Um, What?"

"Yeah, come on, let's see something"

"Well... right now I'm emoting confusion... Is that good enough?"

"But wasn't that a movie, where some kid made up a college?" (laughs to himself, again)

Yes. It was called 'Accepted' it starred Justin Long and it sucked a multitude of ass.

"Um... I don't know... sounds like it"

Finally, money exchanged hands. As the tickets were printing or whatever, another ticket person comes into the box. Evidently looking to impress this woman with his dazzling wit and charm, he asks her "Hey, you ever hear of Geneseo?"

"Sure, it's in Long Island somewhere right?"

"Close, Rochester" said Oach.

"What's the ZIP code there?" Asked the wily and increasingly maddening ticket agent.

"Ummm..." vocalized pause as expected from someone to dredge up a string of numbers from a place they haven't lived in years. Or months, as would be the case were we actually students there. Lightning McGee there pounced upon this.

"Aha!" said he in victory.

"14454" replied Oach.

Thank the sweet enemy of Satan, he handed over the tickets and we were able to escape. The show was good, if a little low key. Thursday night crowd/performance. Very impressive, but slightly low energy. I still had a wonderful time.

Afterwards, Oach's mother wanted to go somewhere for coffee and desserts. We wandered until we found the hive of bastards known as CranberryII Gourmet. I ordered a slice of the "Chocolate Outrage" cake.

Little did I know that included extra outrage at no additional cost.

That's all for now, have a splendid weekend.


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