As many of you (may) know, I've been a man of leisure for the past few weeks. Basically, this translates to me spending hours on the internet applying for jobs and also hours in the apartment, doing absolutely nothing.
So? Here's a Rev-based math problem.
Rev + Boredom + Frustration + Fear of Stagnation = _______
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Give yourself a huge pat on the back if you knew the answer to that. Truly you are a good friend, or an attentive stalker.
But yes, for pretty much the first time since moving to NYC, I was awakened last night by a nightmare in which the dead had risen. Interesting wrinkle? This one actually took place in Manhattan.
My family and I had been preparing for a week-long camping trip. We were packed, and piled into an Oldsmobile which we no longer own. There were some crazy aspects, like meeting former president George H. W. Bush, but that was before the action started.
We were in a train station when the screaming began. Clearly concerned by that, we looked around, and saw a large group of people running away from another group of people. The latter group, of course, was a bit ragged, and bloody, and had white eyes. You know, zombies. Also, some people in the first group didn't run quite fast enough. There was commotion, and I was separated from the rest of my family. I knew I had to get uptown to where our car/rendezvous point was.
I got turned around and ran for the nearest subway platform. It happened to be a stop on the 1 line. I had my backpack on my back, and a 4 inch kitchen knife in my hand, in case things had to get grisly. This is where the dream got nice and suspenseful. Most of the lights were out, and there were dozens of people standing in flickering darkness, wondering which would arrive first: the train, or the mass of cannibalistic undead. Suddenly, screams from the other end of the platform. Panicked people started running towards me and the stairs directly behind me as others fell to the rather hungry mass. Just then the train arrived. More suspense. Is the door going to open only to reveal a horde of decomposing commuters? No! The train was clean, myself and several others piled on, and took off.
On the train, I realized a potentially fatal mistake. I had gotten turned around and was now headed Downtown, instead of uptown. I decided to make a break for it at the next stop. This happened to be the stop where the 1 line intersects with the R line. Don't be too confused, it doesn't really exist, that's just where I was in the dream. The place was largely deserted. I heard announcements over the loudspeaker recommending evacuation of the island.
Looking about, I tried to find the uptown R platform. It turned out to be down several flights of stairs. I got halfway down the first one and peeked over to see if the coast was clear. There, staring at the wall with milky white eyes and a rather bloody mouth/torso was a zombified old woman with crazy hair. Kind of like the undead version of the Simpsons' Crazy Cat Lady.
Anyway, beyond her were several more zombies. The platform was lousy with them. I backpedaled, started running away and quickly lost the use of my legs. One of those fantastic dream moments in which it becomes impossible to move the way you want to. Zombies were closing in. Through an act of supreme willpower, I managed to get up and run away from them to a zombie-less part of the station. I managed to find some NYPD who were patrolling the area. They had a German Shepherd and several AR-15's. I decided to stick with them until I could figure out a way to reunite with the rest of the Revs. I looked out the large window into the night, just in time to see a crowd of people run screaming past a flaming, overturned car. A wave of the zombies shuffled after them, in my general direction...
And I woke in a cold sweat.
Granted, it was neither the worst nor the most violent nocturnal zombie visit I've had. But it is somewhat disappointing to find that I'm not completely free of them, as I had previously believed.
This has been a visit to my subconscious, hope you enjoyed it.