Saturday, June 23, 2007

Book REView

Maybe my last post was a bit misconstrued. First off, I never said that Jonathan B. Wright was either unattractive or untalented. In fact, he's both, which is why he is featured in a Tony Award winning musical. However, the Michael York connexion is positively uncanny. Also, as much as I might like him, I like Phoebe Strole much more, so he can go ahead and get out of the way.

Anyway, as far as some other comments are concerned, rest assured, I have not yet begun to criticize people because I'm unhappy with my own life!

Ok, John Paul Jones said it way better.

That's Captain Badass to you.

So today I am going to turn my eagle/laser eye on a book that I read this week. This book is called Eragon, by Christopher Paolini. The cover looks like this:

I have furnished you with this image so that you may avoid the real thing at all costs.

Many of you may be asking "But Rev, why bother reading this juvenile fantasy book in the first place? Surely it's far below your reading level, or maybe you're just an idiot who loves this sort of thing, and it took you several months to stumble over the more complicated words and that enraged your simple mind"

Wow. You guys are mean. But no, the real reason I read this is because I'm getting set to move in a few days, and so am reticent to get any books from the library for fear they will be misplaced and/or never returned. In a desire to pass the time, I picked up a copy of this book from my housemate, who is a fan of dragons. Yeah, I'll leave that there.

Basically, to sum up this book, if you went through it and replaced the word "Rider" with "Jedi" you would very soon realize that you're actually reading the original Star Wars. Plot breakdown:

-A farmboy who has no knowledge of his parentage is raised by his uncle. Said uncle is killed and the farm destroyed by forces of the evil Empire.

-Farmboy starts on a quest with an old man with a mysterious past who gives farmboy a special sword and trains him in the ways of an ancient peacekeeping organization.

I won't ruin it all, but along the way a mysterious ruffian is added to the mix, they rescue a princess from a prison and have to defend a rebel stronghold from the Empire. You see where I'm going with this?

Sure, it's targeted at 12 year olds, but if they're that hard up for stuff to read, try The Hobbit, or read the Harry Potter series again. Or, you could even try to find something that doesn't involve a dragon.

"But Rev, the author wrote this when he was circa 15 years old! Shouldn't that count for something?"

Sure, it would get him a kick ass grade in his creative writing class. Dare I suggest... an A Plus Plus! Otherwise, I'm not sure it's a good idea to start making exceptions for literature review.

"Sure, Uncle Tom's Cabin is a good book... for being written by a woman"
"Sure, The Picture of Dorian Gray is good... for a homosexual Irishman"
"Sure, Night is good...

Well, you get my point.

Anyway, unless you actually are 10 (in which case I don't suggest you read my blog anyway), don't read this, or see the feature film based on it. Also, don't encourage anyone to read it either. There is a wealth of other stuff out there, and all you need is an imagination and a library card*. don't have to take my word for it

Peace out.


* Literacy helps, too.


  1. Is that seriously the plot? Because if so, someone should sue that little bastard. I don't care how old he is.

    Thanks for taking one for the team, Rev.

  2. It really is. The more I think about it, the more horribly obvious the thieving becomes. I can't wait until the third book comes out with a tribe of Ewoks in it.


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