Hello, and welcome back.
A few entries back I called on the interweb community to pull together and make me the next Peter Parker in possible subsequent movie sequels. Recently something else has come to my attention. THIS.
OMMFG, right? Right.
Most of my life I have been devoted to two things: theater and Spider-Man. I think it's fair to say that the layout and title of this very blog reflects the latter interest fairly clearly. Sure, other interests have come and gone, mostly dismissed as impossible flights of fancy, like wanting to be an Astronaut, or a fighter pilot, or hoping to be in a mature, committed relationship. Imagine my levels of surprise/excitement/joy when I first heard this announced.
To be fair, I was wary at first, too. Spider-Man as a musical? Whaa? However, on closer consideration, and given the names attached to the project already, I have confidence that it will at least be worth a look. It can't be worse than my idea for a musical version of The Matrix, complete with rotating wirefighting.
Take the Blue, you'll still be you,
Take the Red, you're in a tub of goo.
Obviously that concept needs some work. Equally as obvious, we would ignore the sequels, which should really only be discussed in detail at the Hague in front of a Crimes Against Humanity Tribunal.
But back to topic. Almost.
I went running the other day, because the weather was beautiful and I had the insane desire to trick myself into feeling healthy. Anyway, I was wearing my moisture-wicking Spider-Man athletic shirt and at around .75 miles I passed a few rather hefty gentlemen getting out of a car. One looked at me, and exclaimed
"Oh, Snap! You look like Spider-Man, too!"
I managed to wheeze a few words of thanks and continue on. In retrospect, I was probably fortunate that I was winded, as my real thought was "Thanks! You kinda look like Biggie Smalls!"
In any event, his kind words brightened my day.
Back to true topic. Spider-Man the musical. Check out this character description:
[PETER PARKER] Male, late teens to early 20's, Caucasian. A bullied, high school senior in Queens passionate about all things Science, and infatuated with Mary Jane Watson to the point of near-paralysis. Earnest, ethical, and frequently relying on his wry, self-effacing sense of humor to get out of scrapes, he was bitten by a genetically altered spider in Norman Osborn's Lab soon before graduating and becomes after trials and tragedy a crime-fighting superhero. He struggles daily to balance the responsibilities his dual identity demands, as well as with the constant temptation to exploit the powers he has inherited. The burden of being a superhero, his guilt for his role in his uncle's death, as well as his debilitating crush on Mary Jane all weigh heavily upon him. Great pop/rock voice.
Science? Wry, Self-effacing sense of humor? Debilitating crush?
All eerily familiar to me.
And so, dear patient reader, I get to the point.
As of yesterday I have submitted my headshot and resume to the Casting Agency tasked with casting the rehearsed reading scheduled for the end of July.
It was crazy. I had it all neatly in a nice professional envelope, and went to the proper address. While standing IN line to hand my stuff to the receptionist, I looked around the lobby area. There were several 2o-something actors reading scripts. Using my ungodly super-vision I read that they were looking over a scene between the characters Peter and Arachne.
Also, none of those bastards looked like Peter Parker.
*Gasp* I'm at the front of the line.
"Do you have a submission?" asked the desk lady.
"Yes," I replied "and I was wondering if there was any additional information for electronic submission"
She glanced down and to the side briefly, mentally processing my request. "Are you an Independent?" she asked.
Now this may be revisionist history, but every time I remember her saying 'independent,' the word gets uglier and uglier.
"Yes" I admitted, because Peter Parker doesn't lie, and neither should I. Though I suppose he does lie all the time about where he went running off to just before Spider-Man showed up and totally kicked ass. But I digress.
"Ok, then you don't qualify for electronic submission" She said.
"All right, thank you very much" I replied in closing as she took my envelope and placed in a box on top of the desk. I thought it strange that a casting agency would misspell 'Independent' as I-N-C-I-N-E-R-A-T-E, but I chose not to argue with these artsy types.
Anyway, I had just submitted myself for Spider-Man the musical! The realization sunk in and I nearly swooned. Yes, swooned. I got all lightheaded and dizzy. Also, my pinky fingers began tingling with a huge endorphin rush, just like when I win a big hand at poker, or am about to-
Well, nevermind. The point is I was excited and flying high.
Then on the elevator down I was standing next to Jere Burns. And that's my story. Wish me luck, everybody and pray that miracles do come true!
Make Mine Marvel,