Sunday, March 18, 2007

My St. Patrick's Day.

Hello, and welcome to the Sunday afternoon blog update. As most of you know, yesterday was St. Patrick's day.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, let me tell you that Saint Patrick's Day, colloquially St. Paddy's Day or Paddy's Day, is the feast day which annually celebrates Saint Patrick (385–461), the patron saint of Ireland, on March 17, the day on which Saint Patrick died. The day is the national holiday of the Irish people. Also, let me inform you that we are officially not friends. Seriously.

But seeing as how this is my first St. Pat's in NYC, I figured I should pretty much do all I could. I set out nice and early to head over to Manhattan. I was disheartened, but not surprised, at the lack of Irish pride displayed in my neighborhood on Staten Island. I was also disheartened when I narrowly missed one scheduled train, and the next failed to appear. The second train looked something like this:

If you have sharp eyes and look closely, you can see no train.

I'm fairly certain Staten Island conspired against me to do this. I was left waiting in the still cold for the better part of an hour wearing multiple layers of festive green clothing. Now when I say Staten Island, I don't really mean the residents of Staten Island. I mean it more as the entire mass of land and landfill has somehow grown a sort of consciousness. And it's an asshole. The malevolent essence of Staten Island has nothing better to do than to hate me and all the things I love.

Think Hexxus, the evil pollution monster from Ferngully: the Last Rainforest, except with an horrible accent and gaudy jewelry.

FINALLY I was able to get to Manhattan, and met up with some folks to watch the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Here's a guide to the folks I was with:

Now sadly Starbuck's does not sell Irish Coffee. However, if the Boy Scouts taught me anything other than my body belongs to me, it's to be prepared.

Especially when alcohol is concerned. In this case, Baileys mint chocolate. Mmmm... delicious.

The parade was delightful, if a little chilly in the shade. I toughed it out. Then the group I was with decided to pack into an Irish pub off of the parade route for a bit of Guinness. I can't stress the word 'pack' enough. Total fire hazard. I was getting all claustrophobic, and pushing through the crowd of random drunken strangers seemed to be less of a festive holiday atmosphere and more of an ass-grabbing contest. Don't worry about me though, I gave as good as I got.

After the parade it was on to two parties! I know, Mr Popular in the house, right? Obviously not, because I still use the phrase 'in the house.' Regardless, they were both in Astoria and they had plenty of booze and one was even a Birthday party too! This girl was lucky enough to be born on March 17:

I had the lack of foresight to be born on March 13th. I suppose it's the price I pay for ignorance, but I still think that if my father had spent more time shouting the importance of the holiday to me in the womb, I could have lasted another four days.

The Birthday party was loads of fun, and I brought a Baileys Shamrock Shake concoction that was quite well received, I'm proud to say. In case any of you out in the blogalaxy aspire to awesomeness, I will now include the recipe:


1 bottle Baileys Mint Chocolate Irish Cream
1 half gallon vanilla ice cream
1 half gallon milk
mint extract (to taste)
green food coloring

serves: several party guests or one morbidly obese mint-prone alcoholic

Make sure you have Rev, O'Morchison and a Redheaded Irish Lass on hand.

1) Combine two scoops ice cream, two glugs Baileys, a splash of milk, a capful of mint extract (to taste) and several drops green food coloring in a blender

2) Blend.

3) R: Does this taste good? M: Yeah fine, we're late and I just got a text message R: fine, let's put it in the cooler M: What the...? R: Oh... Oh... OhGodOhGod it's everywhere, quick get paper towels M: It's leaking all over! R: Is the pitcher thingy cracked? M: I don't think so... R: Here, mop it up with this M: Do we have more paper towels? R: I don't see any RIL: Here's a napkin from subway... M: Screw it, grab all the ingredients, we'll just make it there R: (string of expletives) M: Wait, wait... the base wasn't screwed in tight... I think I fixed it... R: Seriously? M: Oh God, it's dripping down between the counter and the stove RIL: Hm. At least it's milk based so you have the smell to look forward to. R: Ok, let's pour this in the cooler and keep going, I think it's better now.

Repeat steps 1 & 2

That's all for now, Enjoy!



  1. This is my new favorite blog ever.

  2. That was some good shake. It tasted better that I'd even remembered.

    Is your thumb still green?

  3. Eric - Sweet. Tell your friends.

    ALAAF - Ummmm, a little bit, yeah. It's a mark I wear with pride.


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